No you can't go home yet Galahad
by blu-waffle
Summary: The characters from King Arthur are back in playgroup! Humourous fic about their misadventures and what they get up to. Oneshot


_A/N: Ok first off I have to give all credit for this fic to WCSPegasus as after I read her great POTC version in 'But where's the chocolate milk gone?' I asked her if I could do a King Arthur version and she very kindly agreed. Usual disclaimers – don't own diddely squat –sob- and you can sue all you want but I don't have anything to give so meh lol._

_The Knights are back in kindergarten (playground for us Brits lol) and this is what they get up to…tee hee hee…_

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**Start of the day/playtime**

Galahad you've only been here 5 minutes, no you can't go home.

I don't care how much you want to go home; it simply isn't going to happen, well at least not for another 3 hours yet.

Look Gawain will be your friend, won't you Gawain?

Yes, for the whole day Galahad. Now run off and play.

Guinevere why are you wearing two belts around your chest? And what happened to your top?

Oh you're being a warrior are you?

Well can we be a warrior with some clothes on please?

And Merlin what are you doing with that stick?

Well yes it is a very nice stick but I don't think you should be waving it around like that.

Oh it's your magical staff. Well still be careful with it, you nearly took poor Dagonet's head off with it then.

Yes Bors, I'm sure you and Vanora will be very happy together with all your children.

How many have you got!

11! Well you best keep an eye on them then hadn't you?

Oh Dagonet is going to help you is he? Well that's very nice of him.

He doesn't know about it yet? Well I think you'd better see if he likes the idea first.

Lancelot!

We do not look up little girl's dresses!

Because it's naughty and rude, that's why.

Because it is, now come away from the girls.

Why don't you go and play with Gawain and Galahad instead?

Because Galahad's a baby?

Well that isn't a very nice thing to say Lancelot; after all he's only a few months younger than you.

Look Arthur wants you to play with him!

He wants you to help him free some prisoners from under the arts and crafts table.

Arthur I don't think Guinevere needs to be saved.

No you didn't, did you Guinevere?

But that doesn't mean you can hit Arthur!

Apologise to Arthur please Guinevere.

Because it was nasty to hit him and I suspect it hurt.

Yes it is nice to see your pet budgie Tristan but you shouldn't bring it into playgroup.

Yes I can see it's very well trained but you still shouldn't have brought it in.

Well what would happen if it flew out the window? I don't think you'd be very happy would you?

Let's go and put it in an empty bird cage for the rest of the day before you lose it.

No Tristan we can't let it go free while you go and battle some Saxons.

Lancelot I'm not sure Vanora likes being cuddled like that.

No she was quite happy playing 'Mummies and Daddies' with Bors.

See Bors isn't very happy either.

Go back to playing with Arthur Lancelot; it looks like he needs some help.

Yes that is a very pretty dress Guinevere.

Merlin!

I've told you before to stay out of the blue paint.

I'm not sure Mummy thinks you're a Woad magician when you go home covered in blue paint.

Go and wash it off please.

And take that cotton wool off your face as well please.

**Lunchtime**

No Bors, its Ribena not wine.

No you can't pretend its wine.

Remember what happened last time you pretended it was wine?

Yes you got a bit overexcited didn't you? You fell over the bench as well didn't you?

Tristan I don't think we stab our food like that.

No we eat it nicely.

You can't cut yours up Galahad?

No Tristan, you worry about your own lunch before you start offering to cut up Galahad's for him.

Guinevere can we use our knives and forks please?

Because it's ladylike and polite, that's why.

Yes well even fearless warriors can still have manners.

Look at how nicely Arthur's eating his lunch everyone.

You should all try and copy Arthur as he's being very polite.

Gawain we don't try and make a smiley face out of our spaghetti hoops thank you.

Whoops!

Did your fork slip out of your hand there Dagonet?

Let's get you a clean one.

Yes it was rather funny wasn't it everyone?

Alright everybody it wasn't that funny.

Calm down.

Oh look Bors' is choking on his spaghetti hoops now because you all got a bit overexcited.

You alright now Bors?

Lancelot will you stop winking at Vanora and eat your dinner please?

No Galahad we don't hold our knife like that.

Look let Gawain show you.

There you go. Now you can cut up your own food.

Tristan you've already cut yours up enough.

No, just eat it now please.

**Storytime**

All right everybody you've had a run around, now it's story time.

Sit down nicely on the cushions please everybody.

No Lancelot I don't think Vanora wants to sit on your lap.

Bors we don't hit our friends either.

Apologise to Lancelot please.

Yes I'm sure he's very sorry and didn't realise Vanora was your pretend wife.

Is everybody ready?

No this isn't a story about kings today Arthur.

It's about a teddy bear named Freddy instead.

No Freddy doesn't have a sword Tristan.

Or a bow.

Shhh or else we won't be able to read the story.

Gawain stop fidgeting please, you're disturbing everyone.

Yes I'm not sure Galahad appreciates you nudging him either.

Stop laughing you two or else I'll put you in the naughty corner.

Thank you.

Well that was a nice story wasn't it?

You thought it was boring did you Bors?

Oh well we'll have to pick a better one tomorrow.

She's asleep Arthur.

Well just move away from her quietly then.

Lancelot that doesn't mean you can cuddle up next to Guinevere thank you.

I think she's warm enough by herself but I'm sure she'd thank you for the thought.

Now boys stop squabbling over who should sit next to her.

You'll wake her up if you keep shouting.

**Afternoon play**

You're all going out on a mission today?

Oh that'll be exciting won't it?

Your going to save a Roman family are you Arthur?

I think she's still asleep, you'll have to break her out of prison later on I'm afraid.

Galahad is wearing a kilt, not a skirt Lancelot.

You've lost your axe have you Gawain?

Is it over there with Guinevere?

Ok then, off you all go!

What's the matter Merlin?

You want to help but you're an enemy?

Well you could always make a truce; then everyone can be friends.

That's a very good point Merlin. You will needs lots of people to fight the Saxons.

I'm sure Arthur will be friends with you once he comes back from his mission.

You've had a long ride and want some water for your hobby-horses do you boys?

Yes Guinevere is awake now Arthur, so you can rescue her from the quiet corner.

You rescued your favourite teddy did you Dagonet?

Well that's nice.

The Saxons are coming are they Tristan?

Well you all best be off before they arrive.

Hello Cynric and Cedric! You've come to play for the afternoon have you?

You're the Saxons?

Oh well Arthur and his Knights are waiting for you.

You made a truce did you Merlin? Well that's nice, so now you can help them fight the Saxons.

I don't think we need to hurt each other boys. And girls. Sorry Guinevere.

No we don't need to push each other over thank you Cedric.

But Tristan's dead?

Well we still don't need to push him do we?

You're getting revenge are you Arthur?

Yes I'm sure Tristan's very happy you care about him.

Lancelot we don't need to throw our swords at people please.

Cardboard can still hurt.

You're killing him after he shot you with an arrow?

Oh alright then.

Lancelot's not really dead Guinevere, you can stop crying.

You all right Tristan?

Oh you're just having a rest, well that's ok.

Yes you can stop shouting now Bors.

The battle's ended so there's no need for the war cry anymore.

You didn't want Lancelot to die Vanora?

Well I'm sure he'll be alright in a minute.

Yes, it's just a scratch. See he's fine now.

Yes Tristan your budgie is still here.

You're all going to Arthur and Guinevere's wedding are you?

No Merlin I don't think the wedding vows are: 'Do you take this icky girl? She's got cooties.'

Arthur I'm not sure you need to kiss Guinevere like that.

No Lancelot you don't need to congratulate her like that either.

Well I'm not sure she could breathe.

Yes it is time to go home now Galahad.

You're going to Gawain's house for tea?

Well have fun boys and I'll see you tomorrow.

Yes that is Galahad's happy face Gawain.

Yes here's your budgie Tristan.

Arthur where are you going with that sword?

No I think it belongs in the dressing up box don't you?

Well you can pretend your king tomorrow.

You can get up now Cerdic and Cynric.

No you're not dead anymore.

No its time to go home.

You can invade Britain again tomorrow Cerdic...


End file.
